Monday, October 26, 2009

Operation Sarau -Festival of Cycling (Tuesday Night Worlds -Round 3)

Operation Sarau (also known as Raboplus Club Nationals) which has been attracting droves of cyclists to Sunny? Nelson will culminate tonight in the feature event, the Tuesday Night World Champs which will leave every participant with as little spare breath as anyone who attempts to read this sentence out loud in one go.

Not only will tonight's World champs will provide an arena for those who have tasted sucess in the prior week to parade their medals, but also an opertunity for the less sucessful ones to take vent frustration and reassert at least some vestige of diginity.

So how will it go down? Will Warrick Spence continue to rip off the legs of anyone who dares join him in a break? Could it be Ross Maclennan who jumps clear of the bunch on the viscious accent of Maiseys road? Will Lana King show the her new found sprinting form in the bunch gallop? Or will the B grade once again catch the A grade and continue to make a mockery of those who call themselves A graders? Oh the anticipation!

Whatever happens we can gaurrantee much large quantities of lactic acid, quality time spent in the hurt box by all, fast paced action and that a new world champion will be crowned tonight. Stay tuned for a brief report and results.

Thursday, August 27, 2009

Forsythe Barr Winter Series round 10 -a sneak pereview inside the peleton

With all the excitment surrounding the final round of the Forsythe Barr Winter Series, the team at Sqwheelers.com decided to take a look at how some of the riders are preparing for the battle ahead of them.

Unfortunately we were unable to conduct a proper interview with either of the joint series leaders. It seemed Ayre was unable to sit still for longer enough to answer any of our questions. This is probably a result of the experimental diet which Ayre is on consisting of only (toxic) chocolate coated coffee beans. Ayre beleives that the combined effects of the caffiene accelerating his metabolism and the high GI rating of the chocolate will enable him to shed 25 kg by saturday adding an extra 25% to his power to wieght ratio.

Hill also proved impossible to contact. Between 70 hour working weeks and late night training sessions Hill simply did not have time for an interveiw. However Hill is known to always look at the bigger picture so expect a solid ride from him this weekend but don't expect him to take the soft option of a taper building into the race.

Sqwheelers.com were able to confirm that the third placed rider; Jonno Kalma, will not be racing the final round of the series. Kalma's official press correspondent; Andrew Simpson, released a statement infroming us that Kalma will race in Australia this weekend. Kalma is serving a one week racing ban in New Zealand after testing positive for the common wieght loss pill Xenical.

We were able to catch up with the up and coming young Tom Hodgson while out training on the Takaka hill putting in the hard miles. In the breif moment when Hodgson removed one of his headphones we heard something along the lines of "I'm going to rip every one of their legs off and show them what racing really is!" although when cannot be sure of this as it was largely drowned out by the harmonious screaming of slip-knot.

Perhaps the dark horse on Saturday will be the rapidly improving Henry Kerstien. Kerstien is known to use a body double in his training. This tactic instantly puts his opponents on the back foot as they are never sure if it was Henry or his double they saw putting in the big miles during the week. All Sqwheelers.com can say is if Henry turns up wearing his red knee brace, you better watch out!

Finally keep a close eye should be kept on Karen Fulton who will be making her debut for the newly founded Fresh Choice Toxic Cycling team. This exciting new team will breath a new lease of life into the Star and Garter peleton which has regressed into a dull stalemate. Fulton and Her Fresh Choice Toxic team will be waiting to pounce on any rider whose concentration lapses for even a minute and will generally keep the boys honest.

In addition to the aforementioned riders Sqwheelers.com also recoment that bookies and pundits keep a close eye on the likes of Chris and Mitchell "Schleck", Nick Batt and Kierin Hambrook all of who could put in strong finishes in the tough final kilometers of the race.

Wednesday, August 26, 2009

Who Are These Girls????????
Posted by Picasa

Monday, August 24, 2009

Star and Garter Winter Series Goes Down to the Wire

After the many fireworks of round 9 the two leaders of the Star and Garter Winters series are seperated by a single meagre point. Going into round 9 Caleb "Il Capitano" Captain" Hill enjoyed a comfortable 6 point lead over David "Evans" Ayre. Jonno "Haussler" Kalma trailled by a further 4 points but was still presented a dangerous adversary due to his new found abilities as a bunch sprinter/rolleur/mountain goat.

Prompted by accusations of defensive riding and wheel sucking Ayre donned his skinsuit and went out on the early attack. Ayre was soon joined by the promising young Tom Ashley and the Duet quickly built a comfortable lead which was aided by an untimely puncture suffered by Hill. A number of dirty tactics including non regulation short cuts and the spreading of mis-information saw Ashley and Ayre re-catch the back of the bunch after 30kms if hard riding. At this point the Duet chose to sit on the back and quietly chortle as they watched an eager few attempt to chase them down.

A controlled ascent of the Col de Moutere seemed to gaurrantee that the race would finish in a bunch gallop. However no one bothered to tell the hot headed young Tom Hodgson that this was the only possible outcome. While the sprinters were busy eyeing each other up Hodgson stealthly rode away to take a comfortable second win of the series.

Meanwhile a combined leadout from Nick "Voight" Batt and Chris "Nicholson" Nicholson allowed Ayre and Kalma to pit themselves agianst each other in a contest for second place. Unfortunately for Kalma the Line was placed 5m to early and he was pipped by Ayre by the narrowest of margins (If you are reading this malcolm the cheque IS in the mail -if it doesn't turn up soon hit up postman Gary). An unlucky finish for Hill saw Ayre edge him out of the series lead by one point.

Round 9 also saw the return of three female riders to the Cat 1 peleton; Karen Fulton, Lana King and Bronwyn Fraser. Fulton is rumoured to be unimpressed by the sedate nature of current Cat 1 racing and will be renaming her spin classes "The New Tasman World Championships."

The Scene is now set for an exciting finale for the 2009 winter series which will finish at the top of the Alpe du' Aniseed -the training round of climbing ledgend George Bennett. Current TAB odds give Ayre; who reportedly perfers the comforts of a bar stool to the slopes of a climb, only a slender chance of retaining the series lead. Both Hill and Kalma will be considered as promising bets for the series victory following next Saturdays race.

Stay tuned for exclusive interveiws and insights into the how the series favourites are preparing for the season finale